I'm not certain that the American political machine has realized that April Fools Day was over MONTHS ago. Election time sucks.
That awkward moment when someone who normally posts angry propaganda actually posts a decent card...and you downswipe anyway out of habit.
2nd Rule of Being a Man: Never stick your dick in crazy. Not once. Not even on a dare.
Went outside. The sunset was amazing! Couldn't find the like or share buttons...so I went back inside.
We get it. You're an atheist. Scratch that, an angry atheist with an axe to grind...but what else are bringing to the party?
I don't care what your beliefs or non-beliefs are, if your card is rude, demeaning, condescending...it's getting downswiped.
Dear grocery store sacker, Fuck you. Fuck you right in the eye. Sincerely, The guy who didn't want his bread crushed
See if you can figure out the other half…
If you're a hoopy frood who knows where your towel is, we're already friends.
Morphologic Blog » Blog Archive » A Blind Snake that Clones itself… In the Backyard
Found one of these in my back yard yesterday. So cool…
Found an earthworm in the back yard today. Never knew they could grow to 4 ft long. Or have those fangs. Or rattle.
Ever see two people speaking in hushed tones and thought they might be talking about you? Don't worry. We were.
Remember that dream where you swallowed your teeth? TECHNICALLY, that wasn't a dream.
This sunset is brought to you courtesy of Pinellas County.
Remember when you look in the mirror for the last time tonight say goodnight to the mirror trolls. And they might not eat you in your sleep.
I've been trying to keep a positive outlook on humanity. But the assholes are just too loud. So much intolerance and hate.
Hey you! Yes, you. You are a multidimensional being. Now, start acting like one!
When you wish upon a star, due to massive distance, when it finally gets there the star has moved and your wish goes sailing past. Unheeded.
This message is to let you know, people are looking at your profile! And the back of your head as well. We're back here, alright. Staring.
When your finger breaks through the toilet paper of life, don't walk around smelling your finger. Wash your hands and move on!
DO NOT QUESTION AUTHORITY. This has been a message from your friendly national government who would like to remind you that thinking is bad.
I thought my house was haunted. But judging from everyone's screaming when I walk in, I'm beginning to think maybe I'm the one haunting it.
Hi. It's me. Your imaginary friend. Remember me? You left me to die back in your childhood. I'm back. And this time it's personal.
This just in, the cat in that last picture you saw...was nude. Way to go, you naughty animal pornographer. You are incorrigible, aren't you?
Beef Wellington: The First Hot Pocket.
The creature living in your shower drain wants you to stop doing that because it's gross and he doesn't do that to where you live.
Remember folks, the death rate for all Americans is holding steady at 100%. Oh and while we're on the topic, you going to finish that bacon?