Dear Human, (An Open Letter From Your Cat)
It’s really great to be your cat. I don’t know how the other cats in other homes have it but I pretty much get to do whatever I want.
Mostly, I sleep all day when you are gone at work. That way at night I won’t be tired and I can run around the house and make noises to keep you up.
I don’t mean to scream at your face early in the morning while your sleeping but you need to get your priorities straight. Feed me, get out of bed. It’s pretty simple, Code Red emergency when I’m hungry. But you seem to forget that every time!
Humans do weird things for fun. You like to watch other humans on a black screen. The other day I saw you watching people who put blindfolds on row down a river, for like an hour. I wanted to play but you were so into it.
It’s fun to play with the toys you buy for me. But playing with computer cords or bits of plastic trash is much more interesting. I also love doing things like jumping on the kitchen counter and seeing how much stuff I can knock down. Teehee, it’s even more fun watching you get angry about it.
I just want to let you know that I love you a lot. Thank you for always cleaning my litter box even though you are guilty of sometimes forgetting. And thanks for spending time with me after work even if you’re exhausted.
I know it seems like I could care less most of the time — okay, ALL the time, but I really appreciate all that you do for me. PHPH (Purrs and Head rubs)